Call Me, If You Can't Take The Heat

Sometimes when I'm leaving my room to venture out into the wider world I consider leaving my mobile telephone at home. I think to myself "I don't need it. I'm not a popular guy, nobody is going to call me. It will only weigh me down". However just as I'm about to leave the house I panic and reconsider. I worry "What if someone is trapped in a fire and needs me to rescue them? If I leave my phone at home I will never receive the call, they won't be saved from the fire and I will effectively be a murderer". That is why I believe it is important for me to carry my phone, just in case someone is trapped in a fire. If someone is trapped in a fire I am the best person to call. You see, I'm impervious to physical damage. I've never broken a bone in my life, never had any stitches (apart from when I was a baby and my belly button popped open), never been to hospital for anything. And it's not as if I haven't tried! I've walked through windows, fallen out of trees, had my foot run over by a car, played dangerously physical sports and even been charged by a rhinoceros, yet I have come out of all of those things without injury. That's why I would be the best person to call if someone was trapped in a fire. Fire can't harm me. It wouldn't even dare try. Also, because I find smoking utterly repulsive, I have never partaken in the vile habit and as a result I have an excellent lung capacity. So the smoke generated from the fire would not be able to overcome me either. To test my lung capacity sometimes I fill up the bathroom sink with water and put my face underneath the water and see how long I can hold my breath for. I have been known to survive up to two minutes! So when it comes to the crunch I would be able to just walk through the fire, whilst breathing very easily, pick up the person who had called me, then carry them out through the fire (obviously shielding them from the fire with my body) and whisk them away to safety. I feel that being completely impervious to injury comes with a certain responsibility. I feel that I should use the gift that I have been given for good and not evil. I want to be able to help those people who are trapped in fires. I want to be able to give them a chance to grow up to see their grandchildren. This is why I think it's important, nay, imperative for me to carry my phone at all times. I would be abusing my privilege otherwise.