The Smell Of Our Own

One of the major ideals that I live by is that I feel it is important to make myself presentable. Now, I can't help the physical features that genetics have given me, but I can do the best I can in order to make these features as inoffensive as possible. This doesn't just involve the way I look, but also the way I feel and smell. Not only do I believe I should dress in a reasonable manner, make sure my facial hair is kept to a minimum and keep my skin soft and smooth, but I also believe that I should emit a pleasant aroma. As previously documented I have no pheromones. This not only accounts for my lack of bodily odour, but also the lack of interest the opposite sex has in me. However, merely having no odour may not be viewed as pleasant by some people (more just neutral), and therefore I like to used female spray on deodorant in order to give myself an agreeable fragrance. Male deodorant has a brutish and displeasing smell. I do not wish to discharge the scent of a building site, a football change room, a beer chugging contest or any other activity primarily associated with uncouth masculinity. Nor do I wish to be attracting people who would find such things appealing. I want my scent to reflect my gentle and loving personality. When people smell me as I walk by I want them to think "that guy seem so caring and affectionate, I would love to get to know him intimately."

This morning I ran out of female spray-on deodorant and so decided it would be prudent to purchase some more. Whilst perusing the deodorant section of the supermarket I noticed a fragrance I had never seen before. It was Norscä's Icelandic Poppy. "Icelandic Poppy eh?" I muttered to myself, "How intriguing". I took the lid off and pressed my nose up against the nozzle, it seemed a very pleasant smell indeed, a smell that could be of great benefit to me. I stood back from the shelf and pondered the the idea of purchasing this can of Norscä Icelandic Poppy. "Icelandic Poppy...Icelandic Poppy", I repeated to myself, "You know, if I were to cloak myself in the scent of an Icelandic Poppy, I just might be able to pick an Icelandic Poppy of my own, if you know what I mean?", I said to no-on in particular. I decided I would purchase the can. Ever since I first saw the Valtýsdóttir twins on the cover of that Belle & Sebastian album and subsequently fell in love with the first Múm album, I've had a bit of a thing for Icelandic girls, and so emitting that the scent of their nation's flora and being able to infiltrate their world has some genuine appeal to me. It's a flawless plan, one that is bound to provide instantaneous results.