Terrible Canyons Of Disappointment

I didn't get my first job until the year 2000. My mum pulled a favour with one of the partners at a mid-sized accountancy firm in the city that she used to work for, as my general ineptitude at the time prevented me from being able to obtain a job by myself. The position was in the mailroom, sorting and delivering mail to the appropriate departments and people and running various errands around the city. After a few months, as my confidence in the position improved, I would use these errand-runs to run some personal errands of my own. This usually involved going to record stores and purchasing the finest alternative albums of the day. One day, exactly three months after beginning the job, I was out running errands when I decided to stop by Gaslight Records, up the top of Bourke Street. The epic new double album from Montreal post-rockers Godspeed You Black Emperor had just been released and I was keen to own it. In my enthusiasm to immerse myself in the band's doom-laden anarchistic anthems, I decided to purchase the album on both compact disc and vinyl. Why not?, I thought to myself, I've got money...I've got a job! When I returned to the office there was a note on my desk from my boss asking me to come and see him. I walked into his office and he informed me that my services were no longer required with the company. It had been noticed that I often returned from my errand-runs with shopping bags, that I wrote a considerable number of personal emails and that I used the position as an opportunity to socialise with other members of the firm rather than complete the tasks that I was required to. As it was the last day of my probationary period my boss informed me that he didn't need to give me any notice and that I should just go home. As I needed this job in order to raise the funds to move to London to be with my internet girlfriend I was most devastated. It took me several weeks before I could listen to the Godspeed You Black Emperor album. Each time I tried I couldn't help but think about how purchasing it contributed to my sacking and hampered my ability to be united across the oceans with my internet girlfriend and ultimately my happiness.