Dear avid readership,
I have recently discovered a new blogging tool known as the Tumblr. I have decided that I like this site very much and I desire to utilise its facilities. So from now on I will divide my blogging between the Tumblr and this here blog. My tumblr page, know as Nine Fruits will concern itself with everyday shit like music and my various mood swings, whilst this page will continue to focus on stories.
Thank you
Grant.
Friday, August 15, 2008
Wednesday, August 06, 2008
A Walk In The Park
Whilst I may have the both the physique and demeanour of some scrotumless and effete weener, when it comes to the crunch I'm a pretty courageous guy. If I'm out getting fucked up on alcohol of an evening and it's well into the early hours, I don't call no bullshit cab to make my way home. No way. I walk. In fact, I just don't walk, I strut. You see, my doorstep is only 26 minutes by foot from Parliament, and so all I need to make it back to my abode is a handful shy of a dozen killer tracks on my iPod and the cool evening air caressing my body. Rather than find this nocturnal walk a burden, it actually invigorates me. My long legs stride out each step with purpose as my pitch-perfect voice bellows out the latest hot-shit indie tunes blasting in my earholes. I feel alive, I know I'm alive, and regardless of what crosses my path, I am stayin' alive.
The route I usually take on this walk involves traversing the Fitzroy Gardens. Now during the day the Fitzroy Gardens is a lovely place to take a child or an elderly relative for a picnic or a stroll, however, at night time it becomes what is commonly known as a "dude park". That's right; it's a park where male homosexuals go to obtain naked sexual pleasures from other male homosexuals whilst hiding in the shrubbery. It is awesome. As I walk through the park, occasionally I will be approached by someone who will ask me whether I want to fuck him off a little, however I politely reply: "No thanks, guy, it's not my scene. I hope you have a good time tonight though", and carry on my way. Other times guys are a little more forceful with me and refuse to accept this as an answer. That's when I have to use my speed and agility to make it to safety with my anal virginity intact. I don't mind being chased so much. I mean, it's good exercise, and I guess it's fairly flattering as well, to know that someone desires my body enough to try and penetrate it by force.
The other night though, my walk through the park became a little more difficult. I’d been out at a club, shaking my meat to the beat whilst pumping my guts full of vodka doodles. By 3am though, I’d decided I’d had my fill and started to make my way home. As I got half way through the park I notice that six buff guys had stepped out from behind trees in various strategic points throughout the park. It became obvious that they knew I was coming and decided to set-up an ambush. I guess they thought I’d been something of a cock-tease for too long and they had decided that it was time for the foreplay to end and the action to begin. I turned to look behind me to see if I could return the way I came, but one of the guys had cleverly walked around behind my back. They had started to form a human circle around me and were closing in fast. With each second the gaps that I could possibly escape through became smaller. I would have to make a decision quickly. Running was not going to be an option, they’d devised their plan to prevent this far too well, and they didn’t seem like the kind of guys I could negotiate with. It seemed my fate was sealed. I was to become prey to six dudes all looking to use my sweet and slender arse for their brutal sexual compulsions. Then, as I became increasingly desperate I devised a plan. I sprinted towards a nearby oak tree and began to climb. I thought to myself, as long as I can clear the first few branches by the time they reached the trunk I should be safe. I knew my climbing skills would be greater than theirs, and even with their rabid sexual desire fueling their movements, I felt comfortable in the knowledge that I would be able to scale the tree higher than them. Although the tree was heavily populated by possums, and there was a good chance that I could be scratched and bitten, I concluded that this would be better than the alternative. I didn’t know how long the guys would wait for me at the foot of the tree. I thought as long as I can keep them from reaching me for a couple of hours it would be light and they would most likely be scared off by the morning joggers. So I reached a branch as high up as I could manage and perched myself. I peered down and saw two of the guys attempting to make their way up towards me, but their climbing ability was poor. I felt safe. I soon grew tired of hearing their abusive calls for me to climb down and so I stuck my iPod back in my ears and drifted off into a more pleasant headspace.
As expected the park soon became populated with joggers as the sun rose and the men soon dispersed. When I was confident that each of them had left the park I climbed down and continued my walk home. I felt surprisingly good, like I had achieved some major victory. I had defeated 6 men in their collective quest to bugger me senseless. It felt good to know that I had been able to avoid such a trauma and I felt proud of myself for being able to think so clearly in a time of crisis. As I got myself into bed I wondered whether the guys would regroup and attempt a similar manoeuvre on me this coming weekend? Or would they admit their defeat? Cutting through the Gardens is the quickest way for me to get home, so I can’t imagine I would change my route. Me and the guys who inhabit the park after dark are just going to have to find someway to peacefully coexist.
The route I usually take on this walk involves traversing the Fitzroy Gardens. Now during the day the Fitzroy Gardens is a lovely place to take a child or an elderly relative for a picnic or a stroll, however, at night time it becomes what is commonly known as a "dude park". That's right; it's a park where male homosexuals go to obtain naked sexual pleasures from other male homosexuals whilst hiding in the shrubbery. It is awesome. As I walk through the park, occasionally I will be approached by someone who will ask me whether I want to fuck him off a little, however I politely reply: "No thanks, guy, it's not my scene. I hope you have a good time tonight though", and carry on my way. Other times guys are a little more forceful with me and refuse to accept this as an answer. That's when I have to use my speed and agility to make it to safety with my anal virginity intact. I don't mind being chased so much. I mean, it's good exercise, and I guess it's fairly flattering as well, to know that someone desires my body enough to try and penetrate it by force.
The other night though, my walk through the park became a little more difficult. I’d been out at a club, shaking my meat to the beat whilst pumping my guts full of vodka doodles. By 3am though, I’d decided I’d had my fill and started to make my way home. As I got half way through the park I notice that six buff guys had stepped out from behind trees in various strategic points throughout the park. It became obvious that they knew I was coming and decided to set-up an ambush. I guess they thought I’d been something of a cock-tease for too long and they had decided that it was time for the foreplay to end and the action to begin. I turned to look behind me to see if I could return the way I came, but one of the guys had cleverly walked around behind my back. They had started to form a human circle around me and were closing in fast. With each second the gaps that I could possibly escape through became smaller. I would have to make a decision quickly. Running was not going to be an option, they’d devised their plan to prevent this far too well, and they didn’t seem like the kind of guys I could negotiate with. It seemed my fate was sealed. I was to become prey to six dudes all looking to use my sweet and slender arse for their brutal sexual compulsions. Then, as I became increasingly desperate I devised a plan. I sprinted towards a nearby oak tree and began to climb. I thought to myself, as long as I can clear the first few branches by the time they reached the trunk I should be safe. I knew my climbing skills would be greater than theirs, and even with their rabid sexual desire fueling their movements, I felt comfortable in the knowledge that I would be able to scale the tree higher than them. Although the tree was heavily populated by possums, and there was a good chance that I could be scratched and bitten, I concluded that this would be better than the alternative. I didn’t know how long the guys would wait for me at the foot of the tree. I thought as long as I can keep them from reaching me for a couple of hours it would be light and they would most likely be scared off by the morning joggers. So I reached a branch as high up as I could manage and perched myself. I peered down and saw two of the guys attempting to make their way up towards me, but their climbing ability was poor. I felt safe. I soon grew tired of hearing their abusive calls for me to climb down and so I stuck my iPod back in my ears and drifted off into a more pleasant headspace.
As expected the park soon became populated with joggers as the sun rose and the men soon dispersed. When I was confident that each of them had left the park I climbed down and continued my walk home. I felt surprisingly good, like I had achieved some major victory. I had defeated 6 men in their collective quest to bugger me senseless. It felt good to know that I had been able to avoid such a trauma and I felt proud of myself for being able to think so clearly in a time of crisis. As I got myself into bed I wondered whether the guys would regroup and attempt a similar manoeuvre on me this coming weekend? Or would they admit their defeat? Cutting through the Gardens is the quickest way for me to get home, so I can’t imagine I would change my route. Me and the guys who inhabit the park after dark are just going to have to find someway to peacefully coexist.
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