The Plight Of The Flightless Bird

When the planets are in the right alignment I can be extremely witty and charming. It may surprise, but I can be a very likable young man, if I do say so myself. Unfortunately, this side of me only makes rare appearances. Mostly my personality is drab and aloof. I avoid social interaction and spend extremely large periods of time in solitude. I think this stems from my late-teenage interest in medieval monasticism. I sympathised with the theory of isolationism and thought there was a certain nobility to hair shirts and self-flagellation. While I no longer have an overt interest in such ideals, I do still find myself activity separating myself from normal human contact. However, I don't enjoy it and I don't think it's clever; I just can't seem to break the habit.

Over the last few years I've had a periodic email relationship with Upper Class Recordings head honcho and member of the wussy post-pop band The Cansecos, Gareth Jones. Last night was the Upper Class showcase at the Pop Montreal festival. It was an opportunity for me to dust off this charming personality of mine and do some serious schmoozing. Most of the email conversations between Gareth and I had be written in thick Afro-American slang (a dialect in which I am surprisingly proficient). So after spotting him in the crowd I decided to first work on a few choice phrases before going up and introducing myself. However, the planets definitely weren't aligned last night as when I did approach him my planned "Sup G? Saw yo' ass over dere wit' yo' whole motherfuckin' Ben Gibbard vibe, wassup?" instead came out in my most polite English; "Hello Gareth, it's Grant. How are you this evening?” Obviously this made no impression whatsoever, and after some strained small-talk he made his excuses. My attempts to infiltrate the inner sanctum of Canada's indie elite had been thwarted by my inability to project myself.

The main attraction for the evening was bedroom synth-pop superstar Matthew Adam Hart aka The Russian Futurists. Unfortunately lacking the multitude of limbs required to perform his songs by himself, onstage he is joined by three others.
The most striking thing about Hart is that he looks absolutely nothing like you would expect from his songs. He is a stocky and bearded man, with quite a masculine stage presence. Regardless, I still enjoyed the performance. Tracks like "Let's Get Ready To Crumble" and "Paul Simon" even had people dancing!

Tonight I continue my non-stop gig going with the Akron/Family and Beirut. I have a bit a cold at the moment, which I'm finding a little difficult to cope with as I never get ill, and all these late nights aren't helping! However I will persevere. It's not about me; it's about the music!