Splitting Hairs

My hair is a constant source of frustration for me. The hair is pretty much like moss. It just sits there. If I do grow it to a certain length the wind is able to blow through it, however the hair stays where the wind left it, it requires a shower to flatten it again. Further to this, the look of my face is completely dictated by the look of my hair. If I am having a bad hair day (which is frequently) I look mildly retarded. If I am having a reasonable hair day (there are no good hair days), I am able to leave the house.
As previously detailed the last haircut I had was in August. Since then I have been cutting my own hair and surprisingly have been able to leave the house more often. However, for the last few weeks I've had this nagging sensation that I was doing something wrong. Superficially the hair may have seemed alright, but I thought it was possibly time I gave it some professional attention. So I decided to go to Little Buddha, the hairdresser where all the hip young cats go when they need their angles sharpened. My friend Justine informed me that one of the stylists who worked there was extremely hot and I should hope to have her cutting my hair. (Un)fortunately for me I did get the extremely hot hair-stylist and so had to spend the entire time sitting there with my eyes closed for fear of getting over-excited. As a result I was unable to monitor her progress and inform her of how much was too much to cut. So now my hair is back to looking like something you may find on a rock.

Before the haircut. Apparently I looked like a mushroom.

Post-Haircut - "Next time, Justine, I'm getting someone ugly to cut my hair!"