Politicial Analysis

The following is the script from a short one man play performed in the lounge-room at Cole Street on the evening of the 11th of December. The play concerns a young reporter by the name of Grant Wyeth who is allowed an exclusive interview with the President of the United States of America, George W Bush. Both characters were performed by Grant Wyeth in real time.

Grant Wyeth: Mr President, thank you for your time.

George W Bush: It's a pleasure.

Grant: You talk a tough game, Mr President, do you think this works well for you?

George: People know where I stand. I'm not afraid of stepping on a few toes.

Grant: Do you think, with hindsight, you could use a bit more tact?

George: I've never been comfortable with the 'wait and see' mentality.

Grant: American imperialist dog! September 11 hurt us all, but you took it too far.

George: Bite your tongue, mister. A lesser man would have you on the street for such talk.

Grant: I apologise, sir. I got a little heated.

George: Where do you think it came from, do you have issues with your father?

Grant: I've never made love to a woman.

George: Love isn't something you can pick out of the frozen foods section of the supermarket, you have to make an effort.

Grant: That's easier said than done. A guy like you, in your position...

George: Do you know what you are doing?

Grant: I've seen pictures.

George: I meant, do you know how to talk to a lady, make her feel good about herself?

Grant: Maybe.

George: From what I've learned, the best way to a win a woman's heart is by making her laugh.

Grant: I have my own ideas about women.

George: Well, they haven't got you very far, have they?

Grant: [...]

George: Let me tell you something, son. Women aren't looking for you. Guys like you are like farmhouse rats - seen one, seen 'em all. You have to differentiate, make yourself unique.

Grant: And how would I do that?

George: That's not for me to tell you, you have to figure it out for yourself. Life is a creative process.

Grant: The world changes so rapidly. How can I keep up?

George: The rotation of the Earth is only a problem to those who stand still.

Grant: When you're out fighting wars do you ever get lonely?

George: Not for a minute, the thrust and parry of conflict excites me. I'm absorbed in the moment.

Grant: Sometimes I cry myself to sleep. The pillowcase absorbs the tears and by morning they've dried out and no-one knows.

George: The army will toughen you up.

Grant: I don't want to toughen up. I don't agree with violence.

George: Violence won't cease just because you don't agree with it. It's roots are deeper than the California Valley Oak.

Grant: Deep roots make for shallow graves.

George: Strong men never die.

END SCENE