Papa's Got A Brand New Mac

In my last post I stated that was going to start posting on a daily basis, as almost a week has past since I made that claim some people could be forgiven for thinking that either a) I am a liar, or b) my concept to "daily" is a bit out of whack. The truth, however, is that last Wednesday my laptop froze and then failed to restart.
My laptop is the fourth most essential component of my life; only my lungs, heart and brain come before it. I don't say that for effect either. In the past few days I've actually spent a reasonable amount of time pondering this. I've been playing off certain parts of my body against the laptop, for example: Legs vs. Laptop - technology is always improving, running is not. Laptop wins! I had a bit of a dilemma when it came to Arms vs. Laptop as I initially thought the laptop wouldn't be much use without the arms to operate it. However, I realised that could always get one of those Stephen Hawking set-ups, so the laptop won that battle as well. For those of you with your mind in the gutter the Penis vs. Laptop battle was a no contest. One is in almost constant use; the other could easily be retired. My appendix put up more of a fight.
With this information in mind, you can imagine how upset I was that such an important part of my life was no longer functioning. Thursday was spent backing up all my important information (music, photos, Word documents), and attempting to figure out what exactly the problem was. With the latter being unsuccessful, it was time to visit the Mac store. Much to my surprise there is only one Mac store in Québec, and it is in Laval. Leaving the island of Montreal carries the same stigma as going south of the river in London, or straying outside Zone 1 in Melbourne. Actually, I don't know this for a fact, but I assume the same sort of snobbery exists in Montreal. Urbanites have the same predictable prejudices the world over. Anyway, this would be one of three trips I would have to make to Laval over the next few days. After consulting the "Mac Genius" (his actual job title) I was informed that my poor little laptop would require a new hard-drive. So with a certain amount of bravado and a large amount of stupidity I decided I would replace the hard-drive myself. Actually, replacing the hard-drive wasn't particularly difficult; it was just time consuming seeming I needed to take the machine apart almost completely. The most difficult part was keeping track of the numerous amount of tiny screws that are used to keep the machine together. I think the majority of the time it took to install the hard-drive was spent crawling around on hands and knees looking for screws that I had dropped (and looking like I had a few loose myself). The operation was a success though. However, my paranoia about the machine had me treating it very much like a cheating lover. I no longer trusted the machine; I no longer felt the affection towards it I once did. It had hurt me, and I wasn't confident that it wouldn't happen again. My distrust was confirmed when on Saturday night the machine, once again, froze up and refused to restart. The majority of Sunday was spent with another trip up to Laval. This time however, the "Mac Genius" wasn't very interested in my problems (possibly trying to hide his embarrassment for his poor diagnosis), and basically dismissed my problems. So I was back on the bus home with a very heavy heart. It was at this stage that the cheating lover analogies subsided, to be replaced by the retarded child analogies. I was now the parent of a brain-dead child. And had developed a large internal conflict between my former relationship with its ability, my responsibility towards it and the strain of a very difficult situation. And so I did what any parent would do..... I went and got myself another child. A bigger, faster, better looking, able child. The original now sits in the corner of my room like the leper that it is. I occasionally look down upon it in scorn, resisting the urge to spit at it.