But it's not because you send young girls' hearts a-flutter
It is because your batting has such style and grace
and let's not forget your handy medium pace
Your scoring is due to impeccable timing, not power
And there's a notable resemblance to that ponce David Gower
There are many who believe that your prominence is odd
Yet Rahul Dravid claims your off-side strokes are second only to God
Overseas you showed that India actually could win
And subsequently shat on the captaincy record of Mohammad Azharuddin
Although your results permit you to walk tall
Everyone thinks you're an arsehole outside West Bengal
To me, however, you are as sweet as candy
and I hold you in esteem akin to Nehru or Gandhi
Although this is not really due to the way that you score
It's mostly due to the fact that you pissed off Steve Waugh
So you're now at the helm of the Kolkata Knight-Riders
And I'm sure you'll be able to deflect your deriders
Although it's still quite apparent that you are lacking in charm
Maybe some tips you could get from your boss Shah Rukh Khan?
But, it's your bat that will talk when you're out at the crease
It's not really your job to foster world peace
You'll destroy all the bowlers without any pardons
And we'll proclaim you at once the King of Eden Gardens
NB: The term "googly" (a ball that a leg-spinner bowls that spins in the opposite direction to his standard delivery) rhymes perfectly with "Hooghly" (the river that flows through Calcutta/Kolkata). Unfortunately, I couldn't find a way to fit it in. Dang.
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