I Believe In The Good Life

Whenever I go to an oriental restaurant I always have this major conflict between whether to order rice or noodles. I seem to think that there is something wrong with ordering noodles, and that rice is always the safer option. However 74% of the time when I actually take the risk and order noodles I enjoy them immensely. This is a metaphor for going out vs. staying in. Going out is the noodles. I frequently seem to think that it would be far too overwhelming to go out, and that I best just stay in.
I was all set for rice again tonight when I discovered that everyone’s favourite gay orchestral pop band – The Hidden Cameras – were having the launch of their new album. Although apprehensive I decided to go along.

It was a reasonable sized affair. Toronto’s indie elite were out in force, as well as the band’s traditional homosexual and faux-mosexual fan-base. All up maybe 150 to 200 people were there.

The night was going along very smoothly, I’d met a nice young lady and was conversing quite well with her, when all of a sudden a rather butch transvestite appeared on stage and started doing a very dramatic mime of “River Deep, Mountain High”. After his/her performance he informed the crowd that he was in need of a good looking boy. Out came his finger and pointed directly at me. Reluctantly I made my way up there, only to be informed that I would need to take my shirt off. Now I don’t take my shirt off for anyone. Not even my closest friends have seen me without a shirt on, but transvestites can be quite persuasive, and with a few added heckles of “take it off” from the crowd, my t-shirt came off.
There I stood, on stage, in front of my indie peers, with my top off, being told by a transvestite that I’ll “never get a boyfriend looking like an Auschwitz victim”. He then asked me whether a dingo had stolen my baby, gave me some inane Q&A’s and attempted to prevent me from getting my shirt back. Now, this could have seemed humiliating, however, I loved it! Quite frankly it was great fun! And I also got a free copy of the band’s new album!

I feel this is part of a new page for me. I feel liberated and alive! Look out world, my shirt is off both literally and metaphorically. This little exhibitionist is looking for some action! Give me some noodles!