Take The 17 To Contentment

So, I'm in London. As some may know I lived here 2001-2003 so it's nice being in a familiar place. Unfortunately due to Britain’s ridiculous immigration laws I can no longer live and work here. It's outrageous! I mean, half my ancestors invaded and conquered this place around 300 AD just like the majority of people here. And the other half were those they conquered! It's political correctness gone mad! Anyway, so I plan to go live in Canada, where they are much more accepting. However with Joe Al-Qaida* causing a bit of trouble with the planes it'll be Sunday before I can fly out. This has allowed me some time to indulge in one of my favourite pastimes - riding the London buses. I can ride around happy as can be watching the city, ticking off references from Saint Etienne and Suede songs, and compiling lists of my favourite routes. London bus routes are meticulously planned. Well, I like to think they are. I'm hoping they didn't just fall into place. I have this vision of some guy spending his days working out routes which are not only convenient to the public in terms of getting from A to B, but that also provide interesting scenery along the way. There are plenty of buses in London that go past a good selection of major landmarks (as well as landmarks only interesting to chumps like me). I find this very advantageous as I have no desire whatsoever to look like a tourist, and so I am able to see these landmarks whilst looking like I am going about my normal daily routine. The 344 is the bus I used to use to get to work. Every morning I would go past the Battersea Power Station (with the Battersea Dogs Home just next door), Lambeth Palace (where the Archbishop of Canterbury lives), Parliament from the south bank and great views both east and west along the Thames as the bus went over Southwark Bridge (the most underrated of the central London bridges and therefore my favourite). The 344 is definitely in my top 3 favourite bus routes. I shan't go into the other two in detail, but they are the 29 (a socio-economic dream-ride!) and the 68 (all those who've read Bill Drummond's 45 will know why I like this route). I actually jumped on the 68 today after getting the 12 to Dulwich. The 68 comes down Herne Hill through Denmark Hill into Camberwell. There's an interesting little observation for Melburnians here. Denmark Hill Road leads into Camberwell Road in London. Now if you are in Melbourne and find yourself on the tram or driving along Burke Road from Glen Iris towards Camberwell Junction, the last street on your left before you hit Camberwell Road is Denmark Hill Road. How about that? Coincidence, or something more sinister?
I have some vague fantasies about writing a book on the London bus network one day, but I'm sure some arsehole like Paul Morley will beat me to it.

I spend the rest of my days looking at flatshares in Montreal. Now it would be a lot wiser to move to Toronto, but I'm one of those people who needs their lessons slapped into them, and also Montreal just seems a much cooler place.


*In an episode of The Newsroom, Jim, the anchor, gets a job on an American morning show, and on air claims that "Joe Al-Qaida" isn't going to stop him from having children.