Shower Scene

In the past few weeks two people have told me stories which involved them taking a shower with their respective partners. Whilst not to dismiss these people's stories, it was the concept rather than the content that fascinated me. To be honest, I have never thought about having a shower with someone else. I guess my brain must have thought that it would be so completely illegal as to have never contemplated it all.

After becoming aware that a two person shower is not only possible, but something that people actually do, I started to give it some serious thought. "I wonder if I had a girlfriend she would want to take a shower with me?", I considered. What would this girl expect of me in the shower? Are we supposed to discuss current events whilst tending our respective cleanliness? Or is the shower considered an arena suitable for sexual activity? With the low water storages at the moment, is it responsible to use the shower for sexual purposes when a bed is more than adequate? And if we are to have sex in the shower, will this leave time clean ourselves thoroughly as well? Recently I've become very concerned that my back isn't getting the proper scrubbing it deserves. I mean, I scrub it to the best of my ability, but having to reach around is awkward and I feel that it leaves far too much of an opportunity to not do the job properly. I know my back is clean, but whether it is sparkling clean is a matter of contention. I feel I need all the time I can get to at least attempt to have my back in a reasonably clean state.

It seemed to me that there were numerous issues that needed to be resolved before any two person showering could take place. I decided to meditate on these issues for a while. As I did so I had a rather dark thought. I wondered whether it would be possible, instead of pleasuring this hypothetical young lady sexually, I could instead ask her to scrub my back? With easier access I'm sure she would be able to do a better job than I could. She could scrub my back with greater capability and efficiency so I would have no need to be concerned about its state of cleanliness any longer.

Despite of the prospect of having a sparkling clean back, I'm not sure whether I'm, firstly, comfortable with the ethics of showering with a female, and secondly, asking said female to scrub my back. Even though in the past I have not only asked an 11 year old Moroccan boy to scrub my back, but also paid him to do so, I would still have to say that a man asking a woman to scrub his back would be, in terms of servitude, the moral equivalent of demanding fellatio. Maybe a little less, but still far worse than paying an 11 year old Moroccan boy to do the same task. Not that I condone white westerners abusing the child labour of developing countries at all. However, there's a good chance that this 11 year-old Moroccan boy will grow up to join a fundamentalist Islamic sect, beat his wife and then suicide bomb a Madrid commuter train. So I think I still have the moral high ground. Unless, of course, it was my actions in paying him to scrub my back that destroyed his self-esteem leaving him vulnerable to the devious machinations of Al-Qaida and to his eventual explosion of innocent Spaniards. Then I wouldn't be so smug. The point being, whilst I'm not perfect, I'm still uncomfortable asking a woman to scrub my back.

So after thinking long and hard I decided that if I was to ever have a girlfriend I would only shower with her if she directly requested me to do so, sexual activity would depend on the capacity of Melbourne's water storages, and I would not ask her to scrub my back. I would have to live with a less than sparkling clean back, however, I would still feel less dirty than if I were to place her in a position subservient to me.