This is my favourite fork. I use it for every meal I eat at home. Even if it has been used previously I will clean it so I am able to use it. The blue handle has excellent grip and manoeuvrability allowing me to efficiently shovel food from the plate or bowl into my mouth with great speed and accuracy. If I am eating away from home I find that my ability to deposit foodstuffs in my my eating hole is severely diminished. This fork is like a golf player's putter, I have a special relationship with it. Using any other utensil is just not the same. If I could carry this fork everywhere with me I would. But unfortunately, with terrorism paranoia and tough new legislation concerning the carrying of implements that could potentially be used for harm, carrying my fork around on my person could be deemed suspicious and leave me with some serious explaining to do. However, this situation does lead a feeling of joy when I am reunited with my special fork. I come home from having eaten elsewhere during the day and I pick up my fork and pretend I am using it eat a meal. "That's how you transport food to your mouth" I say to my fork, "Because of you I've got an impeccable action". Whereas previously my relationship with food hasn't been the best, a lot of the time I just wasn't interested in food and this had an adverse effect on my health, I was weak and lethargic, unable to concentrate. However, now that I have the perfect utensil for the consumption of food I find that my relationship with it has improved. I feel like I am now gaining the nourishment I require and growing stronger and more capable as a result.
4 comments:
Once I stole a spoon from an Ansett plane. It was half way between a dessert spoon, which I find too large and sometimes cut the sides of my mouth with, and a teaspoon, which is a bit too small when I have a great hunger and wish to shovel large amounts of food into my mouth. It was perfect and I would hunt through the drawer or sink to use it every breakfast, dessert or other spoon related meal. After I moved out of my Dad's house I forgot to take the spoon with me, and I suspect it is either gone, or in a box of my Dad's things in my brother's garage.
You can imagine my joy, however, upon moving into my new digs in Aachen I opened the drawer to find a special spoon that is the same size, but more beautiful with a smooth stainless steel handle and minus the ugly Ansett logo. It even says 'Muesli' on it, which is predominantly what I use it for. Technically it belongs to my housemates, but I dont think they appreciate it half as much as I do. As previously mentioned I am not adverse to stealing spoons and will do so again if they ever move out.
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